When it was coming time for Addi to be born, I was worried about how I would love her. Would the love just come? I felt like my heart was already filled with love - I have the most amazing hubby and I figured I loved him with all the love I had to give. I mean, of course you "love" other people, but there are types of love. So, how would I love more in that intimate way?
Then Addi was born. My heart grew and I loved her completely, indefinately. The love of a parent for a child is ... it's like that new love when you're first dating somebody. You're obsessed with them. You eat, sleep, breathe them. In psychology it's called "passionate" love. It's the "nibble the ears" kind of love. (Honestly, what parent hasn't nibbled their child's ears?) And as Addi got older, I just loved her more and more. Recently, I could hardly wait for her to wake up so that I could hang out with her. I just wanted to gobble her up!
So as Gwen was nearing her earthly appearance, I wondered how I was going to love two kids. Addi had all the parental love I had to give. I thought to myself, "This child is just going to have to understand that Addi was first, and Baby will have to adjust to how Addi and I do things." HA Ha ha ... I love Gwen just as much, just as "passionately" as I love Addi and Case. I feel like my heart just keeps swelling and letting more love in. I have nibbled her ears.
Enoch has always been my favorite prophet. I feel like he had a extraordinary relationship and communion with the Savior, as well as a keen understanding of the Atonement and Plan of Salvation, which is why he and his people were able to live so perfectly. When he is shown the time of the Earth, Moses wrote that "his heart swelled wide as eternity". Through Parenthood I'm beginning to understand this a bit - you feel your heart swell. You feel love pour in to crevices you didn't know were vacant. You want to nibble everyone's ears, or at least serve them.
5 comments:
Don't you feel sorry for the people who don't want kids? Or do stop at one child because they don't think they can love more than one. They really don't know what they're missing out on. I'm so glad that little Gwen is making such a big impact on your guys' lives.
It really is awesome that we instantly love our children. It is so sad that people don't want thier kids. My heart even aches more when I see a child being treated unfairly. I love Elizabeth and I could not imagine life without her.
love this post.
I totally know what you mean Stef. I have never felt the kind of love that I feel with Tru and Trent. You do just feel this swelling that overwhelms you. It's wonderful!!!
and guess what - eventually you get grandchildren and then you find that the love and your capacity to love just continue to swell!
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