i was amiss ...

but now i'm a misses. hahaha!

okay, that was stupid.

anyways, i wanted to thank all of you wonderful people for lifting my spirits. i am so grateful for amazing friends who understand parenthood is difficult and have shared encouraging words with me. every single comment matters to me. thank you thank you thank you!

i love my addi, my little bit, as i call her. she is strong, vibrant, and independent, and though it can be difficult at times to know what's best for her, i love who she is and i am honestly grateful for the challenges she presents. so i'm going to keep on griping when i need help, and y'all can keep on telling me what has worked with your kiddos. i usually try nearly every suggestion i'm given (you know, as long as i haven't already tried it several times and seen it fail), so i swear your input isn't falling on deaf ears. 

returning: thank you ang t. for visiting. you might never know how much positive effect those hours have already had on me and will continue to have. you are such a role model to me. and thanks taylor p. for letting me vent on your little ears. thanks for being such a good friend always. *wink wink. we're tight like that, right?*

now, moving on. i'm really not into drama. i know, shocker, what with the crazy neighbor and the hooligan ex-boss ... but really, no, it's not my thing. and i thing this little thingy-ma-jigger has filled my second quarter 2009 drama quota, so let's just forget about it, eh? deal? sweet. done.

in more recent news, we found this AWESOME flinstone-esque car just sitting by the rubbish bin at TVA (aka byu-h married student housing). it had an old TV in it, which declared it as obvious TRASH, not a stray toy. so we did what any respectable person would do: we claimed it. 

addi has never started her day so purpose driven. this car is the summit to her mt. olympus, people. nothing has ever claimed her heart and desire so fully ... true story. 

oh, and during conference i was writing notes in my journal. addi was helping me, of course, asking me to draw stars here and there, and "what's that?". and then at one point she pointed to the word "journal" on the front cover, more specifically the letter "A", and said, "momma, addi! A for Addi! A for Apple!" i beamed with pride. you never know if they're pickin' up what you're puttin' down, if you know what i mean. so can i get a WOOT WOOT! for that one!!

and gwen. i don't know that i ever mentioned it, but gwen did in fact start walking about a month ago. yes, it's true. she walks everywhere. i think i was in denial there for a while. oh, and she's starting to speak. she says, "whoa", "wow", "what's that", "addi, dada, and mom", "cool", and that's about it for now. we have to go get her 1 yr. shots soon - happy happy joy joy. and friday night, this friday night, april 10 (happy birthday eden!) will be the last time i nurse her before bedtime. read: the last time i nurse her ever. i think she's over it. it's just me who's hanging onto this little thing that makes her an infant. *sigh*

and did i mention that casey might be going to china for work? yah, it's not for sure yet, but it's likely. that's crazy!! oh, and he has tonsillitis AGAIN. i swear we've been sick for 6 months. he had tonsillitis 2 weeks ago ... he just finished his antibiotic a few days ago, even. then botta bing, botta boom, it's back. i say 'cut the things out'. but i guess it's not me they're attached to. 

and i'm still working on gwenner's song. i have a verse and a partial chorus. it's really slow in coming ... maybe because i don't really have much time to be creative. you might think songs just pop out of somewhere all pretty with a bow on top, and i guess they kind of do, but it's more like they hatch. it takes time. and if that creative process gets interrupted it takes FOREVER to get back into the flow and groove of things. at least for me. but i like what it is so far. hopefully before summertime it'll be ready to debut.

should i start a music blog?? my aforementioned friend ang t. has one and it seems like a swell idea... i miss sharing my music. youtube scares me because people i don't know can comment and say mean things and then i'll be sad and think my music isn't cool. my music is the rawest version of me there is. for someone to not like it or insult it is ... it's ... it's like ... oh heavens ... i guess it's like having your heart broken a little bit. but it's so public. maybe that's why i kind of keep it a secret. for me, showing someone a song is like putting a little of my insides right there on the outside for everyone to see. it makes me vulnerable. i don't mind performing. that's fine. it's just the idea of people analyzing and picking apart my little version of a diary that's hard to swallow ... anyways, we'll see. maybe i'll bloggity blog some bits of my mojo.

and now it's way too late, and i'm way too tired, and this crazy lengthy post doesn't even have a picture ... so i'll make up for the plethora of wordiness later. 

coming soon: pics of the bday party 

and other miscellaneous photog bits ...

eventually.

p.s. the brown guacamole did not wreak havoc on my bowels. just in case you were up at night wondering about it ...