comma

today was gavin david bruce norton's funeral.

i wore mascara and eyeliner.

i thought i could keep myself together.

i failed.

the table display, filled with pictures of baby gavin, almost broke me.

i looked away

feverishly hunting the place where i could find her.

"where is nat?"

"do you know where nat is?"

i followed the pointed finger and i saw her.

she was stunning, even from a distance.

her long dark hair done nicely in loose waves that didn't dare stop at the shoulders.

her face was shining. hopeful.

her mascara was definitely waterproof.

i crutched as fast as my crutches would take me, ignoring the others in the room, in the line.

and i completely lost it.

i sobbed into the right shoulder of the woman who was sobbing into my right shoulder.

"i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry. i love you so much. i'm so sorry..."

everything froze for a while and i wanted to take away all of her grief.

i wanted to be her maid, cook, best friend, confidant, babysitter, savior... i wanted to carry it all

and give this woman a break. so i squeezed her and let my eyes drip into her pretty curls.

and richie.

there hasn't been much talk about richie in all this.

poor richie. he has also lost a baby son.

suddenly. unexpectedly.

heartbroken.

i awkwardly leaned over my right crutch trying to hug him.

it didn't turn out just right. more of a shoulder pat.

from there on out the tears wouldn't stop.

the funeral began. we sang "my heavenly father loves me" as the opening song.

i couldn't choke out a single beat.

president von orgil spoke.

i remember one line:

"death is but a comma, not an exclamation point."

and i thought about how it was more of a semi-colon. and my mind wandered around grammar and the plan of salvation and if the asterik would fit in there anywhere.

then there was another musical number sung by three little girls...

i was shaking in sobs, as were the three little girls.

and two grieving parents.

then nat and richie spoke.

faith.

unshakeable, sustaining faith.

and a sprinkle of good humor

about how gavin chose eternal life a little too soon.

nat said this could possibly be the best day of her life.

all of the love.

support.

so many who loved her baby gavin...

richie spoke of his wife's faith.

how when the doctors went in to perform any procedure she refused

refused

to sign the papers until they {the doctors} agreed to have faith,

faith in their skills as medical professionals,

and demanded that they know within themselves that they could do the procedure that they were about to do.

he talked of the blessing he and his father-in-law gave little baby gavin when they realized he was not going to be staying on this earth much longer.

he talked of the impact this little human had in his short life. how hundreds of thousands of people were praying for baby gavin. and how prayer has united hearts. how this experience has strengthened people's faith. brought wanderers back into the loving arms of a savior who missed them.

i left strengthened.

exhausted.

and mascara free.

and with the image of gavin's brothers raleigh, cardon, and lincoln

being the tiniest pall bearers of the tiniest white, marble casket i've ever seen in my life.

please, continue to pray for the nortons.

that their grief may be soothed by the balm of the atonement of Jesus Christ.